Recharging My Spirits

I have lost a total of three eyelashes today. To the crazy girl I was, that would amount to a total of three free wishes that she would have made with a smile on her face and blown away with just as much gusto. But today, this girl did not make a single wish.

I texted my friend who is off to college yesterday, with the same “Booo!” that greets everyone. He sent me a picture of the group he was chilling with and my heart told me it’s best to let him be.

When I met the boy whom I thought was Mitch and learned he was Andre, I chatted with him for about 3 minutes and ran out of things to say. I spent a good twenty minutes talking to a girl whose name I did not know but as soon as class ended and her name greeted me, I had no desire to keep talking to her anymore.

I was the girl who loved fiercely and cared passionately. The girl always willing to help you, even if it hurt her. The girl who smiled even when she wanted to cry. And that hurt. 

In fact, it hurt so much that I think my heart’s immunity system finally woke up. It has closed off its walls. It needs to recharge. I had tried to ignore its cries for rest and I tried to go on loving, hoping it would recharge as I went on.

But charging your phone while using it only worsens its ability to charge. Maybe I need this break. I will give myself this break. 

Perhaps then I will be able to be the crazy girl who loves like hell and laughs until she cries. I will be waiting for the day my heart is fully charged again.


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